


3 Times Crossovers Made Some Sense (+ 1 Time They Didn’t)

by AngelOfBooze



Category: Community (TV), Criminal Minds
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Disabled Character, Crack Crossover, Crack Fic, Crossover, F/F, Gen, M/M, References Adventure Time and CA:TWS, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5180336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfBooze/pseuds/AngelOfBooze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily Prentiss is assigned to go undercover at Greendale, Troy Barnes ends up working for some pretentious organisation with an acronym for a name and Abed Nadir want's to make a show out of all of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 Times Crossovers Made Some Sense (+ 1 Time They Didn’t)

**Author's Note:**

> See note at the end for an explanation of all the references.

**1.**  

Emily drums her fingers along the cool oak of her desk. She has been waiting for the ‘okay’ from her boss to make this call. She sucks air in through her nose and lets it out in a sigh. She presses the bright ‘call’ button on her burner cell and lifts the bulky piece of sh-technology up to her ear. With every ring Emily becomes more and more agitated.

He obviously won’t recognise her number and so there’s a chance that he could think she’s some sort af sales person and ignore her. What if he is on a case and can’t pick up because he’s busy tackling an UnSub or kicking down the doors of peoples homes. She brings her left hand up to her mouth and begins to tear away at her index nail. When she realises what she’s doing, Emily pulls her hand away from her face with an unexpected speed, ripping the nail painfully. Emily gasps just as the man on the other end of the phone picks up.

“This is SSA Derek Morgan,” Comes a slurred voice, “Who’s calling?” he asks.

Emily smiles at the evidence of sleep in her boys tone. “This is SSA Emily Prentiss,” she says, huffing out a laugh at the gasp the followed her words.

“Emily! Why’re you calling? Is Britain not treating you well? We haven’t got your tea of the month yet-“

“-Derek I’m not in London anymore. I’ve been transferred. I’m in Colorado” Emily explains, picking softly away at one of the nails on her right hand.

“Emily that’s great! How long have you been back in the states?” Derek asks, no hint of betrayal or anger evident in his voice, just a gentle curiosity. Emily opens her mouth to reply before cutting herself off when she hears a familiar voice in the background of the call.

“Is that Reid?” She asks, earning a noise of affirmation from Derek. “What time is it in Virginia, I tried to ring when you were at home. Have I interrupted you on a case..?” She cringes slightly. She doesn’t want to be taking up the BAUs valuable time with her small talk.

“What uh no, why would you say that?” Derek asks, confused. Emily checks her watch and squints at the slowly ticking hands.

“Unless my watch is slow, it’s Eight Fifty Two in the morning in Virginia. What’s Reid doing at your place at Eight Fifty Two?”

“What makes you think we’re at my place?” Derek deflects, a hint of caution in his voice and evidently not awake enough to handle the question.

“Well for one, I called your landline” Emily counters, “and secondly, unless something’s changed dramatically in the past few years, I’ve never known you to show up to work early without due cause. Also if you were in Quantico, Penelope would be all over me right now”

Derek lets out a defeated sigh, the sound crackling uncomfortable over the phone lines, Emily could just imagine him rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger.

“Don’t worry Derek, it’s nothing I didn’t already know about. I hope you didn’t think you’d be able to hide something that big from a team of profilers, did you?” She asks with relish as she hears a soft chocked sound come out of the ear piece of her phone. It takes Derek a few seconds to regain his composure.

“That obvious, huh?” he asks her, a resigned defeat evident in his voice. “Who else knows?”

“Oh everyone. Last time I checked Rossi was winning”

“You guys had bets on us?” Derek asks incredulously.

“Yeah, now that I think about it, the betting pool is actually a fairly common trope in media-“ Prentiss is cut off by the unamused silence coming from the other end of the line. “What?” She asks the voice of static in her ear.

“While I understand what you’ve just said on a linguistics level, I don’t understand _why_ you’ve said it” Derek says in a playful monotone.

“Oh yeah.” she frowns. Derek hasn’t talked to her in at least six months. “Well there’s this kid I know, Abed,” She begins to explain, “compares a lot of what’s going on in our lives to television. You gotta learn your stuff to keep up with him that’s for sure.”

“Uh huh” Derek replies, Emily can practically _hear_ the amused raise of his eyebrows.

“He reminds me a lot of Reid actually,” Prentiss continues.

“How so?” Derek asks.

“Not in the sense that he spouts off statistics like Spence, more like he can remember weird details about things he loves and can’t hold a normal conversation to save his life” Prentiss laughs, “Movies are to Abed what stats are to Spencer” she sums up to a clearly amused Derek.

“You ever tell him you were an agent?” Derek asks.

“Oh god no. He’d start on about buddy cop movies and the fact that his best friend Troy would _flip_ if he knew that Abed was friends with an agent. The Study Group all think I’m an Efficiency Consultant.”

“What the hell is that?”

“The Study Group or the job title? Either way, you’d know as soon as you so much as glanced at this school. The Study Group are the only people the Dean actually cares about. Which should tell you something about how this place is run.”

Derek lets out an amused whistle. “Tell me more” He says, “Also you’re on speaker”

“Hi” Spencer pipes up.

Emily smiles at the younger mans voice. “Hi Spence.” She says. “Since you’re here you might be able to give me some tips for Annie. She’s joining the FBI as a trainee soon” Prentiss says.

“How old is she?” Spencers asks in that inquisitive voice he has that makes almost everyone that hears it want to hand over their credit card details.

“She’s just turned…” Emily trails off as she calculates Annies age. “Oh! She’s the same age you were when I joined the BAU”

“Hopefully she won’t be doing anything as dangerous as I was” Spencer says, a hint of jest in his otherwise harsh words,

“She’ll just be training, probably be a desk jockey for a while. Promise show her around when she gets there?” Emily asks, “Don’t tell her how you know me” she adds quickly.

Derek and Spencer promise, and decide that they should probably introduce Annie to Penelope as soon as possible.

 

 

**2.**

Abed sits in front of his laptop on the top bunk. He’s kept his and Troys bunk bed despite the fact the younger man has been gone for almost eighteen months on his twelve month trip. Abed suspects that Troy might have settled down somewhere without him, but brushes away the though. Troy was part homing pigeon. Abed was his home. Troy would always, _always_ , come back. He moves his curser over to the Skype icon and opens it up. Troy has been logged on for the past twenty minutes, evidently waiting for Abed to call him. Abed runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots to ground himself. He presses ‘video call’.

Skype begins to ring obnoxiously at him as it waits for Troy to pick up the call, wherever he is. When Troy does pick up, he looks different to the last time Abed had seen him. His hair, though it still droops over his forehead has been cut. He’s grown a beard that he takes obvious care of. He looks older, more mature. His eyes crease at the corners when he sees Abed, who waves a little.

“Hey Abed” Troy says, quietly. Abed forgoes greeting him back, he can tell something’s wrong. Troy is usually more full of energy, his voice is hardly ever as reserved as it is right now.

“Troy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asks moving his face closer to the camera so that his concerned expression (Left eyebrow raised, mouth turned down in a frown) takes up most of the screen. He know that it’s poor framing and that it probably makes Troy uncomfortable but Abed doesn’t care right now. He wants to be as close as he can be to Troy, wants to be able to comfort him through the computer screen. He’s never been good with words. Back when they were at Greendale, if Troy got upset and cried (which happened at least twice a week) Abed was able to comfort him by thumping him gently on the back in a firm and steady rhythm. Now that Troy was only pixels on a screen beamed from God knows where Abed was at a loss.

Troy smiles weakly at Abeds concern, his mouth twitching slightly, the left side raised more than the other. “Yeah I’m okay man. I just need to..I need to tell you something.” Abeds mind scans through their conversations from the past eighteen months. He can’t conjure up any moment in his memory that hinted at anything bad going on. It’s just like a badly foreshadowed tragedy in a poorly written soap opera. Troy could have cancer or he could have a secret son that he didn’t know about. Troy might have to live in Cuba with said son and he might have to get married to the woman and and and-

A low pitched whine starts to emit from Abed. He isn’t in control of himself at times like these. His distress becomes so overwhelming that he all but shuts down. Abed can hear Troys voice crackling through the knocked about speakers of his laptop. Abed focuses on Troys voice, not his words. Troy is probably just rambling about something insignificant, he learned early on that when Abed started squealing like a boiled kettle it was best to leave all serious talk at the door until Abed had calmed down.

Abed eventually manages to breath and relax. He doesn’t know how long he was busy just listening to the ebb and flow of Troys voice or how long he was just sat on his bed, rocking back and forth. He flicks his eyes to the screen of his laptop. Troy is sitting on a bed, looking at him (Abed can tell Troy’s looking _at_ him and not at the camera because his eyes are shifted slightly downwards, only just enough to be considered inappropriate in any other circumstance.) Abed sighs and looks around. “What was it you wanted to say?” He asks, prepared for the worst.

“Abed, I’m not coming back to Greendale. Or Colorado,” Troy begins. The words make Abeds heart drop, he can’t understand Troys tone and so he doesn’t bother to analyse it. Abed nods his head. He was prepared for this. Troy is going to live with his new wife and son in Cuba and Abed can’t do anything to stop it.

“What’s her name?” He asks, needing to know at least some small piece of information about the woman who Troy will be spending the rest of his life with. Troy stills, his left eyebrow raising up and up and up. If life were a cartoon, Troys eyebrow would be floating in the air above his head.

“What’s whos name?” Troy asks

“Your Cuban wife. What’s her name?”

Abed hears the snort a moment before he sees it. The lag of his internet can get seriously frustrating at times.

“Abed, I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I don’t have a Cuban wife,” Troy explains. He goes quiet for a minute before adding “Or a Cuban son. What made you think I would have a Cuban anything?”

Abed shrugs. He doesn’t know. His mind worked in ways even he didn’t understand sometimes. “You just sounded like you were leaving me for someone. Or had a terminal illness. Just movie clichés really”

Abed sees Troy smile. “I don’t have any movie clichés to marry or to get irradiated for. If you would let me finish you wouldn’t have to worry about me dating or fathering any humans” Troy waits for Abed to nod before he continues, “I got a job in DC. Working on air conditioning for this big prestigious place. I think it has some stuck up name like ‘SHINE’ or ‘WEILD’ or something. I just got the job and so I was wondering,” Troy takes a breath in through his nose before finishing. “I was wondering if you would move to DC and work from here?” Troy asks.

Abed holds up his right index finger, signalling to Troy that he needs a moment to process the new information that he has acquired. “So... what you’re doing is...asking me to move in with you…and work in DC?” Abed clarifies, more to himself than anyone. Troy hums an affirmative. Abed perks up and brings his hands up to his shoulders before flapping them up and down for a second. “I’ll have to finish some editing jobs up here first but after that I can move in. I still have our bunk, have you chosen the apartment yet?” Abed asks.

Troy smiles at him when he begins flapping his hands and the smile gets bigger and toothier until Troy is positively beaming. “Abed. Abed! Slow down. We have time to talk about it.”

 

 

**3.**

Abed smooths his fingers over his iPhone. He enjoys the soft feeling of its neon green gel case and the bumpiness of the rhinestones he stuck delicately around the edges. He’s nervous. Not in a ‘will explode if touched by anyone other than Troy or Bruce Willis’ way but more in a ‘is screaming on the inside and needs personal space’ kind of way.

If Troy burst into their small but well-furnished non-cockroach infested apartment right now, Abed would let out one short guilty scream before diving into the safety of the Dreamatorium Mark II. He wasn’t doing anything illegal, such as manufacturing drugs to be able to afford Chemotherapy for Troys non-existent cancer, but he was about to perform one of the most cliché clichés in the history of clichés. It was such a cliché that Abed was ashamed to have to even resort to it.

He presses the dial button on his phone and waits as the frankly painful ringing starts up in his ear. He rocks back and forth in the modern looking rocking chair Troy bought for him as a ‘sorry I got a job in DC and made you move all the way out here to be with me’ present. Abed thought the reason for the gift was stupid, but he had always told Troy about his love of chairs and things that rocked and so he appreciated the sentiment.

“Uh..hello? Is anyone there?” A voice calls into Abeds ear. He jumps. He must have zoned out. What if she hung up because she thought Abed butt dialled her? Abed has to think fast.

“You’re a lesbian, right?” He asks into the receiver.

“Oh Abed! How lovely to hear from you! Hows it going? I’m well thanks for asking.” Frankie replies with no intonation in her voice, which is unusual for her. Abed blinks in silent confusion. He hears Frankie sigh.

“Abed, like I told you, I like to keep my personal life separate-“

“- IwanttoaskTroyoutbutIhavenoideahow” Abed interrupts, his words merging into a single sound.

“Oh uh, Abed. Why are you coming to me for this?” Frankie asks, the intonation has returned to her voice.

“Because you’re the only queer character on the show whom I am close to” Abed answers, “Also the Dean creeps me out and Chang would advise I lick Troys shoes or something. If I went to Britta she would spend the whole phone call telling me how much she supports me and being indirectly homophobic. Shirley would be directly homophobic without realising before trying to convince me to join her church. Annie would probably call Troy as soon as I hung up and I guess Jeff might work bu-”

“Abed! Slow down.” Frankie takes in a deep breath that Abed can hear from his end of the line. “Abed, why do you think I’m gay?” Frankie eventually asks. This is not the direction Abed wanted the conversation to take. He thinks on his answer before replying simply,

“I have a… Gaydar..?” He hopes that his reply will be enough to placate Frankie. It doesn’t. He can hear her shift uncomfortably.

“Abed I don’t know if I can help you” She replies eventually, her voice careful.

“Frankie please. You’re the only reasonably normal person on this show.”

“Abed, while I appreciate your unique view of the world-“

“-I know, I know we’re not in a television show. For one, if this were a television show, it would be jumping to vastly different locations very often, too often for it to have a storyline that was easy for new casual watches to get into. I have a theory that the show ended when Annie and I left Greendale. Pretty much none of the study group was left. Once eighty percent of a show’s original members leave, it’s only a matter of time before it crashes and burns. Also, hardly any non-gay centric shows have upwards of two queer characters.”

“Okay Abed, I’ll help” Frankie complies, “But only because you’re making me question my existence and I want you to stop”. Abed smiles and stops rocking his chair. He stands up from the plush cushion and moves into the apartments small but well stocked kitchen. Abed moves to make a glass of Special Drink. He needs something familiar to continue this conversation.

Abed exhales and opens his mouth. He needs to start this conversation anew. He began it on the wrong note before. “Frankie, I need your advice on how to ask Troy out. Not because you may or may not be a lesbian, but because I’m usually the one getting asked out and I have no idea how to be the asker-outer.” Abed lets out a breath before quickly tacking on, “and I’m not gay. I’m pansexual. Please don’t call me gay”

Frankie makes a humming noise on the other end of the phone. “Abed, what I’m about to say to you is in confidence. No telling anyone else. Not even Troy”. Abed nods slowly and wait for Frankie to continue.

“I’m gonna take your silence as an affirmative” Frankie says. Abed almost spills the Milo over the counter. He knew he was doing something wrong in just nodding. He hates phone calls.

“Anyway, I knew a girl called Jennifer when I worked… when I was at my old job. She was blonde and pretty and painfully straight. Like out of this world straight. I knew she was straight and I still asked her out. It was awkward for…I don’t know, a long time. She eventually got married and had a baby. All the usual heterosexual stuff.”

Abed quirks an eyebrow. He doesn’t know where Frankie is going with her speech. He decides that she knows best and continues to listen intently, taking a sip of his Special Drink every once in a while (and having to stifle five or six coughs because he breathed in Milo powder.) He spills it over himself at one point as almost curses out loud before remembering the he has to be quiet while Frankie is talking. He begins to focus on cleaning up the mess while Frankie talks on and on in the background.

He zones back in as Frankie is getting to the end of her speech. “-so Abed, I guess what I’m trying to say is, only ask out people you are absolutely sure are queer, no exceptions”

Abed tries to formulate a reply in his head. “So…I shouldn’t ask out straight people?” He clarifies, “Because my heart will be broken just like yours was?”

“Yes” Frankie confirms, somewhat hesitantly.

“Good thing Troy’s not straight then. Thank-you for your advice” Abed says, not adding on that Frankie had just told him what he already knew.

“Oh, you’re welcome Abed” Frankie replies before Abed hangs up on her.

He scrolls through his contacts for a few seconds before landing on the one he wants.

_Jeff Winger._

 

 

**+1**

Abed rests his head on Troys shoulder and plays with the other mans hair (which is long enough to tie in a bun when wanted) as Frankie tells him what’s happened at Greendale since he left. Chang and the Dean hooked up (as many of the lonely gay characters before them have) Jeff has relapsed into his texting addiction because of the distance between him and Annie and the school has only had two near fatal accidents throughout the whole semester, an improvement made thanks to Frankies expertise.

Abed tells Frankie about the movie he’s making based around his experiences at Greendale as she swirls sugar into her coffee (she says she picked up the habit of two packets in it from a former colleague). He’s thinking of calling his movie something like _‘Life of an Average Student’_ , or _‘Community College’_. He wouldn’t dream of using a one word title. That’s tacky and unappealing to almost all audiences and it didn't work out when Abed had tried it before. Frankie hums something in agreement. Abeds arms are buzzing at his sides with excitement as he describes scenes and cinematography and mise en scene to Frankie. Troy, who has heard it all before, is playing gently with one of Abeds hands, moving the pliant fingers around where they sit on his palm.

Abed is cut off by a commotion of police cars and some dark looking SUVs. He remembers the Honda Commercial he dreamed he had made with the Dean. Frankies eyes follow the SUVs to where they’ve stopped at the end of the street, her eyes widening at whatever is going on outside of Abeds line of sight. Troy laces his fingers through Abeds and squeezes his hand. Signalling for Abed to stop talking for a second. “Frankie, I know we’ve just met, but you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Troy says, leaning forward slightly.

Frankie stands up and waves a hand at Troy and Abed. Abed watches her go and twists his neck around like an owl to watch her leave the Bubblegum café. “Do you think we should follow her?” Troy asks.

“It might make for some interesting footage” Abed muses, before shoving Troy lightly until he stumbles out of the booth. Abed leaves some money on the sticky table top before pulling out his GoPro (He’s gotten into the habit of making vlogs for his YouTube channel in case he doesn’t have any new skits to upload)

Abed tugs Troy out of the café by the hand, enjoying the breath of air as he steps through the large glass doors. He clips his GoPro to his Inspector Spacetime themed beanie that Troy knitted for him. He needs his hands free if he’s going to be able to push through the reasonably sized crowd that has formed around where some uniformed officers are putting up police tape. Abeds feet thud down the pavement, he keeps his eyes trained on the ground directly in his eyeline, occasionally looking up and scanning the gathering crowd for Frankie.

When Abed finally manages to elbow a spot for himself and Troy at the head of the crowd, he spots Frankie inside the perimeter of police tape talking to some agents wearing bullet proof vests with the initials FBI emblazoned across them in a searing yellow. He jabs Troy in the shoulder with his right index finger before pointing excitedly to what’s happening. Troy jabs him back in acknowledgement and waves his arms. “Hey! Frank! Frankie!” Troy calls out.

Frankies head whips around to face the two of them, her mouth stretches into a grin. She turns to the tall bald black man next to her and the tall twiglike white guy next to him. She says something to them quickly, which makes the bald man laugh, and then she scurries over to Abed and Troy. Troy looks at her in disbelief as she ducks under the police tape. “I have some explaining to do” She says breathlessly, before ducking back under the police tape, “Go back and wait for us at the café”

Abed turns to leave before Troy tugs him back by the sleeve of his hoodie, “Dude this is wrinkiling my brain!” He exclaims before starting to walk again. Abed slaps Troy gently on the shoulder in over excited agreement. “She said _us_ ” Abed whispers in Troys ear.

Abeds mouth is hanging open and Troy has tears in his eyes by the time Frankie, no Emily, finishes her story, which had been corroborated by Dr Spencer Reid and SSA Derek Morgan of the FBIs Behavioural Analysis Unit. “Emily, I think Abeds beginning to write a movie about you in his head” Troy says. Abed is indeed writing a script for Emily in his head, but he’s also struggling to comprehend what he’s just heard over the past hour of talking with the agents. One of his friends is a former _FBI Agent_. Abed feels like he’s going to scream. Not in a ‘I didn’t expect this texture in my food’ way, but in a ‘this is too exciting for any words in the languages I know way’ and also in a ‘oh my god, she knows what I said when I started swearing in Polish and Arabic’ kind of way.

Abed resorts to letting out a bark of laughter and banging his body against the back of the booth they’re sitting in. No one at the table looks shocked at his behaviour. Dr Reid leans over Emily to be in Abeds direct line of sight. He hands Abed what looks like a neon green coiled loop of plastic. Abed immediately starts fiddling with it.

Abed shoves Troy slightly before dredging up his basic knowledge of ASL and finger spelling Annies name with one hand while fiddling with the jointed piece of plastic in the other. Troy, being mildly psychic when it comes to Abed, instantly perks up. “Have you guys met Annie? Annie Edison?” He asks Agent Morgan. Morgan scrubs a hand back across his scalp. “I haven’t just met her, I think I single handedly made my baby girl fall in love with her.” He says.

Troy smiles, Morgan had clarified earlier that the BAUs tech analysis, Penelope Garcia, and him were basically married. Troy enjoyed hearing the pet names he gave her. “Is she part of your team?” He asks. Morgan shakes his head, “Reid thinks she’s too young, and I’m inclined to agree” He explains, garnering nods of approval and agreement from Dr Reid and Emily respectively.

Abed jumps slightly in his booth, hit by a sudden idea. “We’ll call it Criminal Minds!” he yelps before reaching down and digging through his bag for a second until he pulls out a note pad and starts scribbling down ideas. “Guys, we’re gonna make a TV series of your cases. I think David Rossi’s books can help push the script to the forefront of the Channel Managers minds and we can probably have it on air by next June! What case are you currently working on?”

Dr Reid and Agent Morgan exchange looks before speaking. “We can only tell you what we’ve told the press. A mixed race teenager called Marshall Lee went missing a few days ago. His parents think his band mates might be involved in the disappearance and-“

Troy and Abed remain enraptured by the Agents explanation for the next few hours, only going home because the barista insists that he needed to close up shop and the emotional support animal next to him looks none too happy about being kept in late. Abed exchanges phone numbers with the agents when they part ways. He drafts up the first script for his show in less than seventy two hours.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic based around the fact that Paget Brewster portrays both Emily Prentiss on Criminal Minds and Frankie Dart on Community.   
> I’ve also added in references to Captain America: The Winter Soldier as Danny Pudi(Abed Nadir) portrayed an unnamed tech in the movie. This is combined with the line from CA:TWS wherein Furys car reports, after being badly damaged, that its air conditioning is “Fully operational”(The acronym Troy is searching for in the second segment is SHEILD).   
> The character of Marshall Lee in the +1 segment is based on the character from Adventure Time that Donald Glover(Troy Barnes) voice acts for. The Bubblegum Café and its barista(and his support animal) are meant to represent the Bubblegum Kingdom and Finn&Jake respectively The piece of jointed plastic that Spencer hands to Abed in the +1 segment is a Tangle Jr.  
> This whole fic is set post-season 7(for Criminal Minds) and post series(for Community)


End file.
